Is Your Teen Lacking Essential Social Skills? 4 Daily Habits to Practice Now
Oct 27, 2026
Beyond the Screen: A Lesson in Eye Contact
For a few years now, I’ve had a role where I get to interview youth on a biannual basis to see how they’re doing. One thing we often do is set goals. Recently, I had an interview with a young lady who I distinctly remembered from a prior interview, when we discussed goals and she really didn’t have much in terms of interests or hobbies she could tell me about. Most of her time was spent on her phone—likely messaging friends and spending time on social media platforms.
During the middle of our conversation, she would look off to another part of the room. At first, I thought it was because she was just not interested in the conversation, which felt disappointing, but I later realized that it was just difficult for her to maintain eye contact.
Four Core Pillars of Real-World Relational Growth
To protect our kids' real-world skills from being eroded by screen addiction, smartphone distraction, and digital isolation, we must actively evaluate and practice essential social skills in the home. Here are four crucial areas where modern youth often struggle:
1. Maintaining Eye Contact
Essential for showing genuine presence and connection.
2. Sustaining a Two-Way Conversation
In my early twenties, the thought of teaching a small class for an hour or so scared me to death until I realized a good interaction isn't a monologue—it's about asking well-thought-out questions. Many teenagers answer questions, but few ask questions in return. Teaching kids to ask questions back creates meaningful conversation where both parties feel valued.
3. Active Listening
Picture sharing something you're excited about, only for the listener to look down at a phone notification. It's debilitating. Active listening builds trust, and kids learn it best by seeing adults practice it.
4. Showing Empathy & Resolving Conflict
Empathy—sincerely caring about others during difficult times—takes practice. Texting is mechanical and lacks tone or facial expressions. Furthermore, conflict resolution requires face-to-face practice. Growing up as number 7 of 9 kids, my siblings and I were sometimes sent to a room together until an argument was resolved—and today in our 30s, 40s, and 50s, we still like each other!
Action Step
Teach your child the "Question-Back Rule" today: whenever an adult or friend asks them how their day was or asks about an activity, instruct them to answer and immediately follow up with a sincere question back.
What’s Next
Establish a "Screens Down During Speech" standard at home. Whenever someone enters the room to speak or when a conversation begins, every family member puts their device face down to practice active listening.
